April 27, 2009
what do you call a quarterlife crisis when you're about to turn 30? i didn't really have a quarterlife crisis when i turned 25. but i feel like i am having one now as i get closer and closer to my 30th birthday. which is in exactly 2 months and 15 days.
ever since i turned 29, i've been stressing about turning 30. i just can't get over it. can't fully accept it. i don't feel 30. i don't act like i'm 30.
i'm stressing out because...........
i'm in a job i can't see myself in long term.
i'm not married.
i'm nowhere close to getting married.
because i can't seem to get my finances together so i can get my own place. or at least move out and pay rent somewhere in the city.
because i've become too reliant on my mom.
i've become too comfortable where i am right now yet still restless.
i realize that i've settled for things in life instead of working to change for the better.
because this isn't the life i imagined for myself by the time i turned 30.
because i'm not sure i ever had a strong picture in mind for myself by the time i turned 30.
i'm gonna be 30. oh my god i'm going to be 30 years old and i don't know what the hell i'm really doing! how did i let so many years pass by? what the hell have i been doing with my life? i think that's the question that really freaks me out. what the hell have i been doing?????
i know i can't drastically turn my life around and resolve all my above issues in a matter of two months. i just don't want to wake up one day and it's two months before my 40th birthday.
sorry, i just had to get that off my chest. it's been resting there for a while. for about 10 months to be exact.