April 27, 2009

tick-tock tick-tock

what do you call a quarterlife crisis when you're about to turn 30? i didn't really have a quarterlife crisis when i turned 25. but i feel like i am having one now as i get closer and closer to my 30th birthday. which is in exactly 2 months and 15 days.

ever since i turned 29, i've been stressing about turning 30. i just can't get over it. can't fully accept it. i don't feel 30. i don't act like i'm 30.

i'm stressing out because...........
i'm in a job i can't see myself in long term.
i'm not married.
i'm nowhere close to getting married.
because i can't seem to get my finances together so i can get my own place. or at least move out and pay rent somewhere in the city.
because i've become too reliant on my mom.
i've become too comfortable where i am right now yet still restless.
i realize that i've settled for things in life instead of working to change for the better.
because this isn't the life i imagined for myself by the time i turned 30.
because i'm not sure i ever had a strong picture in mind for myself by the time i turned 30.

i'm gonna be 30. oh my god i'm going to be 30 years old and i don't know what the hell i'm really doing! how did i let so many years pass by? what the hell have i been doing with my life? i think that's the question that really freaks me out. what the hell have i been doing?????

i know i can't drastically turn my life around and resolve all my above issues in a matter of two months. i just don't want to wake up one day and it's two months before my 40th birthday.

sorry, i just had to get that off my chest. it's been resting there for a while. for about 10 months to be exact.


sb said...

the first step/hardest part is recognizing the situation :)

age is only a number, and haven't you heard? 30 is the new 20....maybe try building a "wish list" of everything you want in your life - short & long term. it's amazing how putting it on paper {or blog} can help us move in the right direction :)

now onto more fun topics - what are we doing for your bday? :P


A R I E L S A C O T E said...

ya'll are still babies!

Anonymous said...

You have to find your purpose. That is what that one muppet said on Avenue Q.

Otherwise you will be singing the tune
"sucks to be me" until you find it.

reegsta said...

Avenue Q was dope.

Anyway, don't trip Tiffblue. That's how a majority of 30 YOs feel haha.

And how bout the 1/3 life crisis?